Wednesday, August 13, 2008

the WHAAAA???

A night-guide is quite like a regular guide, but with several basic differences:
- you don't pay her/him by the tours or by the hour, you pay her/his expenses. and she/he can never get drunk before you do.
- s/he knows the sites, the routes, the history, but s/he also knows that you don't give a damn.
- s/he knows the most famous joints, dinners, restaurants but since s/he also knows that these places will rip you off (fine dining in most places are like foreplay before ass-rape) so s/he will take you to places with moderate/good prices and good/excellent food. the places s/he eats at her/himself.
- s/he foremost knows the clubs, the pubs, the skin-bars, the casinos and the nightlife in general. the things you are interested in.
- s/he knows the city, the traffic, have connections and will tell you why you don't want to get into THAT cab.
- but most importantly: s/he knows people more than old buildings.

i was a night-guide once. i had eight irish guys, it was tons of fun. never again.
this is where the name comes from. now you know.

my first line in our world-wide group-therapy would be:
hi, my name is D, and i'm a chronic insomniac.
i live in Budapest the greatest public toilet in Europe and i hallucinate sometimes.
my age is indifferent because i have all the time in the world.
yeah it sucks.

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